Wooden Pieces by Farnood

Wooden Pieces

When I was about 6 years old, I used to cut branches off trees and make parts for building boxes or other items. In the process, I was using all the tools that were available in our kitchen and even sometimes would buy small tools to help me with that. I remember at one point, I was able to make a wooden truck able to carry small loads of toys and even the wheels were made of wood cut perpendicular to the base of a branch!

The ability to manipulate objects and to make something meaningful was extremely gratifying and later on at about 10 years of age, I started to tear apart my favorite bicycle and put it all back together again. I guess it was all about curiosity and even sometimes creativity. How can I make something new out of what I have? What is really going on in the structure of this machine? Why does the toy bunny play a drum the way it does? How do clocks work? ….The inquiry never stopped.

Later on in my life, during my high school years, college years and even some working years, all of this fixing, bending and figuring was put to rest until I got married!

Yes, I admit,  I am a late bloomer and married at around thirty years old. My wife and I purchased our small starter house. In the process, the house needed a lot of work. How about plumbing? Sure!, How about the bathroom? Yes! How about a new kitchen? Of course……. All of a sudden, I found myself with my beloved hammer, saw, sander, plumbing tools….etc.  You say tools? Oh, you have no idea…One tool leads to another!

Pretty soon, the basement of our small house turned into a workshop! Woodworking flashbacks from childhood popped out again!

Along the way, I dragged my reluctant wife along. I rented a booth in a craft shop and started selling wooden-made items competing with other carpenters in that shop. The beauty of this whole thing was that it allowed me to be creative again. I started to think about the design, the look, and yes, the mathematical symmetry and golden ratio of items and what other people might like to buy. Along the way, my wife helped me with the practicality of the objects and what might sell. I remember one day before Christmas, my wife and I visited the rented booth and noticed almost everything we had made was sold! It was gratifying…Not the money but the fact that people liked what I made!

I ended up becoming a teacher and purchasing another house and having children. Everything was put on hold. Once again there was no time for me to do what I really enjoyed doing. On top of that, I seemed to have developed a sensitivity to dust that requires a well-ventilated workshop. The house that I live in does not have a workshop and I have been parking my table saw along with my tools in a small room in the basement and every time I crank up the old rusty table saw, wood dust moves all over the house creating an allergic reaction for everyone.

To this day, I have friends and family members who remind me of the things that I have made for them and how much they enjoy it.

I think I will be returning to wood working in the next stage of my life…When I retire. I am going to be far more slow and less agile but I will carry the experience and wisdom of an old man who still cares about making wooden pieces!

reinvite

Can you please reinvite me at this email address: jevans1982@aol.com? It won't let me make comments on other people's posts through my other email because it's not the email associated with my google account.

Thanks!

Hi Ladies!

It wouldn't let me make comments because it said I was a "guest," so I am trying it out again now.

I want to say, thank you Ladies, for an informative and fun couple of days. I will be working with Marty to try some of the techniques introduced as we make better writers of our students. Looking forward to working with you again in February.

Between now and then, maybe I could come up with a new beer recipe to celebrate your return, something along the lines of "Writer's Dopplebock". If you like a sweet malty beer with a pretty good kick, let me know and I will see what I can come up with. Just like a good writing, good beers take some revision to get exactly what you are looking for. Always up for a challenge!

Larry

Profiled in Iowa

It wasn’t until it was all over and I was back on the road headed for home sweet home. You always hear about it, but you don’t think it will ever happen to you. As a law-abiding citizen who is a retired Navy veteran and has never even had a ticket in 39 years of accident free driving, it was shocking. I had been profiled!

On the final day of three, traveling back from Los Angeles, California on a 6000-mile excursion, I was looking forward to being home and sleeping in my own bed. Cruise control was set for two miles per hour over the posted speed limit and I was focused on the unrolling pavement. The undulating view of the central Iowa countryside with its ubiquitous fields of corn as far as one could see. Simply put – boring. Up ahead a brown vehicle sits in the median of the expressway. As I cruise on by with the flow of traffic I make eye contact with the lone occupant of the vehicle; an Iowa State Trooper. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror just to reassure myself that my boredom won’t be broken. Nothing moving so eyes back on the unfolding road.

Some ten minutes later a white jeep that had been slowly overtaking me, passes and then abruptly pulls in front of me with minimal clearance. Shaken from my bored state, I wonder what that is all about. Thinking there might be faster overtaking traffic, I glance to my left only to make eye contact with that Iowa trooper that I had passed miles ago. He is matching my speed and, due to the distance between the jeep, and myself I kick off the cruise control that is still firmly pegged on 72 mph. As I start to slow, so does the trooper. Next thing I know, there are bright blue strobes filling the rear view mirror letting me know that I was wanted – to pull over.

Being the law abiding citizen that I am (never mind my box on four wheels with four striped rats under the hood couldn’t out run the serious power of the trooper’s vehicle even if I wanted) I quickly pull to the side of the road and turn off the engine. I proceed to efficiently get my paper work in order to show the man now sitting behind me putting on his Smokey the Bear hat. However, not thinking about the safety aspects of high-speed traffic to my left, I am startled when he shows up on the passenger’s side wrapping loudly on the window. Now I have to turn the key to the accessories position to roll down the passenger window, which brings on the radio at sizable volume, the blower is making racket and I am now slightly flustered while still trying to figure out why I have been stopped.

As the window is finally lowered, he courteously asks me where I am headed. When I respond, home to Michigan he inquires from where. When I say Los Angeles he sticks his head into the car takes a good breath and wants to know what I was doing out there. A couple of further questions about my travels and then he asks, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” My prompt reply was “No, sir.” At which time he let me know that my Iron Man Wisconsin license plate cover was obscuring the state of Michigan on the license plate. However, reflecting back on that moment in time, you could just see the disappointment in his eyes and the relaxing of his body as he realized that bald guy with biker mustache and large dark sunglasses was not the drug currier he was going to bust, but was really some guy headed home.

We had a nice chat about triathlons and life in general while he wrote me a warning for an equipment violation in the cramped but cool interior of his vehicle. When the paper work was finished, I proceeded back to my car and before I could even start my vehicle, he roared off down the interstate never to be seen by me again. It was only a few miles down the road after seeing several other vehicles with “obscured” license plats that the realization dawned on me that it was simply an excuse to have closer look. I have had that cover on two separate vehicles for over eight years and have been passed by countless police vehicles without incident. No, I am convinced that my appearances greatly contributed to my short stop on the freeway in the wilds of Iowa.

by Larry Etter

Mary Says "Say Yes to Crack"

The cat was naughty. He smacked the dog's nose, scratched the new couch, peed on my new shoes and regurgitated a hairball right onto the roast.

The Ballad of the Delton SWI 2011

Underpaid and overworked,

But still I do my best.

It’s summertime, and here I am.

This teacher needs some rest!

The first day’s great we need a break

from fun and sleeping in.

The second day is harder though

because we miss our sin.

Rick Snyder is our governor

He is a big Nazi

If he would just get out of there

We would have some money

His sister belongs to my gym

People are quite mean

But she is really a democrat

Working behind the scenes

Hitler reincarnated

He calls himself a nerd

He cuts our education fund

The man sure is a turd

He says he has the answers for

All the public schools

His own kids go to private ones

The hypocrite’s a fool

The governor’s a liar and

He steals from MESSA’s pool

Has no mercy from teachers ‘cuz

His kids go to private school!

Rick Snyder is our governor

He treats our teachers “well”

20% insurance costs

Tell him to go to hell

Hiding out on Mackinaw

Where he can’t hear our shouts

Nerdy wimpy governor

We’re gonna kick you out!

The state demands we do the MEAP

But changes in midstream

How can they do this to our kids?

Please wake me from this dream

Summers here. We need a break.

To clear our minds from stress

Just pass the wine and call the shrink

Please free us from this mess

Underpaid and overworked,

But still I do my best.

It’s summertime, and here I am.

This teacher needs some rest!

Five Ways to Make Editing a Positive Experience (The slide you don't have in your book.)

1.Spend more time highlighting what is right and beautiful than hunting for errors.

2.Make grammar about meaning.  There is a purpose for the marks we use and writers are responsible for knowing why they do what they do.  Then, sometimes we can break the rules.

3.Constantly write and collect and refer back to literature and students’ own writing

4.Teach concepts and patterns with visuals and examples.

5.Do express lane edits.

Seven Little Known Things About Me (Mary)

Seven Little Known Things About Me (Mary)

1. My favorite way of cranking out a story is on a yellow legal pad with a #2 Ticonderoga pencil.
2. I never put syrup on my pancakes, only butter.
3. The only way I can clean my house is by putting on salsa music while I work.
4. My favorite children's book is Little Women because when I was 10, I read it in installments. Growing up poor in the South Bronx, I wasn't allowed to check out books from the library for fear I would lose the book or worse, be fined for returning it late. I hid the book in another section far from the children's stacks and every Saturday I fished it out and picked up where I left off. It was the first book that lifted me to another world, the book that made me fall in love with reading.
5. Even though I've seen it about 200 times, the last 7 minutes of Defending Your Life starring Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep always always makes me cry.
6. There is not one shred of doubt in my mind that Captain Kathryn Janeway could easily kick the asses of Kirk, Picard, and Sisko. The fact that I've thought long and hard about this should be embarrassing, but I love it that I don't care.
7. My favorite home remedy for getting over a nasty cold is chicken soup with 4 cloves of garlic, Cuban toast, real Coke over ice and repeated viewings of Aliens.

Seven Little Known Things About Morgan

1. I am afraid of heights and I have a pilot’s license. I understand Bernoulli’s principle and the way lift happens so flying doesn’t frighten me. I took my first flight in a yellow Piper Cub at age 13 and got my license when I was 21. Now, put me on a ferris wheel or in a tall building and my knees will buckle and my hands and feet will sweat. If you are ever in the Swiss Family Robinson’s tree house (At Disney) or on an observation platform at the Empire State Building, please do not tickle me or touch me in any way that puts me close to the edge. I might accidentally knock your teeth out.

2. How might I knock your teeth out? I took Shotokan karate in college and many people don’t know this about me. Our instructor, Bob, had a thick Chinese accent and often asked us: “Do you want kill your attacker?” Mostly, we said no, we’d just like to get away. Either way, he taught us how to kick someone in the solar plexus or throat so we could get away, or kill someone. I almost broke LJ’s nose using techniques learned in this class but in all fairness, it was accidental.

3. I have only owned Hondas in my lifetime. First, a 1987 CRX in silver. Then, a 2000 Civic in Gold. Next, a 2006 Accord in Silver. Finally, I have my Odyssey.

4. I have a very large torus palatinus. Yes, that's right. I've checked LMJ's torus palatinus but it appears to be of a normal size. Before you conclude that I am some kind of genetic freak, I should tell you that the torus palatinus is that bump on the roof of your mouth. My dentist says this is not a bad thing. In fact, I thought everyone's was as large as mine but my dentist told me otherwise just a few years ago. Since my wisdom teeth never arrived, my theory is that they are stored in this bony cavity. Still wondering what I'm talking about? I won't post a picture of the roof of my mouth but there is a nice shot here of someone else's torus palatinus.

5. My favorite movie is Shakespeare in Love. I’ve watched it over 100 times, I’m sure. It’s an English major’s ideal movie. I often quote lines from it but most people don’t notice. “I think I’ve seen it. I didn’t like it.” “How you mind darts about…” “love and a bit with a dog…”

6. I’ve known LJ for twenty years. His best friend liked one of my friends and so we spent more quality time together than either of us planned. We’ve both changed so much since then but our sense of history together keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. I remember driving my mom’s brown Toyota station wagon to his job when I got my driver’s license. He stopped vacuuming the department store carpet long enough to say “So?” As he matured, he became much more considerate. These days, he'll make my coffee in the morning, he's changed diapers at all hours with no complaint, he's the chief bedtime story reader and laundry-doer. Yeah, he’s changed a lot.

7. In my first 9 years of teaching, I only took one sick day prior to the thirteen days of maternity leave. It’s just easier to be there.

7 Little Little Known Things about Judy

1.I can eat a vidalia onion like an apple. Crunch! A tomato too!
2. I cry excessively at movies. Happy things make me weep. Sad things make me bawl. The first time I saw Terms of Endearment I was getting dirty looks from others in the theater because I was sobbing so loudly.

3. My iPod’s running playlist has songs by both Kanye West and Barry Manilow. That’s what happens when a Jew grows up too close to the ‘hood.

4. I like ketchup on my mashed potatoes. I like it even better if there’s some cooked spinach mixed in.

5. I can only chew a piece of gum until the flavor runs out, so if/when I buy a pack of gum for a flight, the whole thing is gone before we land. I spit out the flavor-spent pieces into the barf bag.

6. Lately I’m so excited about the shadow of a deltoid muscle, starting to peek out from beneath 40+ years of flab, that I find myself pushing up my sleeves and stealing extra glances in the mirror. If I ever became buff, I may be downright impossible to live with.

7. I slept with a teddy bear until my wedding night. Then I married something soft and fuzzy and the rest is history.